שלום בשערך - Peace in Your Gates

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Ka'as Cup

In the tradition of if you want to change something it's not enough to intellectualize about it (see Rashi's comment on the juxtaposition of the parshios of Nazir with Sotah), I recently decided to do something "l'ma'aseh-dik" about my problem with ka'as (anger).

I created a "Ka'as Cup." It's basically a "pushkah" (with a label bearing the words "Ka'as Cup" in Hebrew/Yiddish designed by yours truly) and works as follows: each day I successfully avoid yelling (note: I didn't say didn't get angry, as I realized for me that would be impossible. Instead, I am focusing on how I REACT to that anger by trying to avoid yelling) I drop $.25 into the pushkah.

On those days when I am not successful in avoiding yelling, I DEDUCT $1. At the end of the month, if I have collected $7 or more (do the math; it translates into 28 or more days of yelling-free behavior), then we make a "Ka'as Free" party for the entire family (since they also benefit from the lack of yelling).

As a further incentive, the money I collect is for me to use as I please (e.g., purchase seforim, software, etc.).

Chazak v'ya'ametz!


  • nice site. I just finished a course with a Rabbi on 'anger' (when it is bad and when it is "appropriate" to be righteously angry) and then stumbled on your site. Thanks Hashem!

    Here's a thought, psychology says that depression is anger supressed or 'turned inward.' As someone who struggles also with depression - how much more important to control your anger.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:06 AM  

  • Thanks for your comments. Yes, I can definitely see a connection between surpressed anger and depression. Good point!

    By Blogger SM, at 7:22 AM  

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    I now watch tv etc... this has been very painful to me though as when the sex scenes come on, which in inevidtable in most movies these days, i get so embarrased for my husband to see other beautiful naked women. Ok, maybe my self esteem needs fine tuning...i would like to rise to the occasion and not be so sensitive but i don't know what method to take to do this. should i look at a lot of bodies, innocent etc...to get used to it? and i am not talking getting used to strip clubs but movies with that in it to a small extent...how do i stop being so jealous and angry? thank you

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