שלום בשערך - Peace in Your Gates

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

שער הכעס Continued...

Michael: Thank you for the excellent analysis in your last post, and sorry for the delay in picking up the thread! So, without further delay, here is the next section of the שער:
ואתה רואה בני אדם, כשהם כועסים ומחזיקים בכעסם, אינם משימים לבם על מה שעושים, ועושים הרבה ענינים בכעסם מה שלא היו עושים בלא הכעס, כי הכעס מוציא שכלו של אדם מקרבו עד שמרבה דברי הכעס, ונכנס במחלוקת וקנטורים. לכן אי אפשר שיינצל הכעסן מחטאים גדולים. וכן אמר אליהו לרב יהודה (ברכות כט ב): לא תרתח ולא תחטי. ואמרו (עירובין סה ב):
בשלשה דברים ניכר האדם, האחד מהם - בכעסו, כי בעת הכעס אדם ניכר: אם יתגבר כעסו על חכמתו ועושה עניינים בעת הכעס בלא הנהגת החכמה - בזה ניכר כעסו. ואם תתגבר חכמתו על כעסו, ולא ידבר, ולא יעשה מעשה מחמת הכעס מה שלא היה עושה בלא הכעס - בזה ניכרת חכמתו:

Free translation: "And you see people, when they are angry and hold onto their anger, they do not take notice of what they are doing. And they do things in their anger that they would never do without being angry, because anger negates a person's reason and begets angry words which causes him to enter into arguments and controversies.

Therefore, it is impossible for an angry person to save himself from major sins. And so said Eliahu to Rav Yehuda (Brachot 29b): 'Don't become upset and you will not sin.' And, [says the Gemara] (Eruvin 65b): 'By three things is a person recognized...' one of them is his anger, because at the time of his anger a person is revealed: if his anger overcomes his reason, and he does things while he is angry that defy reason--by this his level of anger is recognizable. And if his reason ovecomes his anger, and he does not say nor do things while angry that he would not do while he is not angry, by this is recognized his level of wisdom."

Wow--pretty powerful mussar that really hits home for me. It's humbling (and embarrassing!) just to remember a few things I've done in the past while angry (that I would never have otherwise done). Clearly, I don't measure up too well on the scale of wisdom at least when I become angry.

Moreover, I find the biggest challenge in this particular area--that of trying to control my anger, and not have it overpower my "sechel," is with my family--the very people I least want to hurt--who are the ones who consistently get the worst of it, at least compared to how I behave at work, in public, etc. I think it's the "boosha" factor; you know, the ol' "What would people think of me if I got angry, etc., etc." However, when it comes to my family, the attitude is, "So, nu, nu...Why can't a man let his hair down at home, etc., etc."

Clearly, this is wrong. Not only that but (as I've unfortunately seen) children are very quick to pick up on their parents' bad habits. And, I've noticed that some of my children have developed "coping" strategies for dealing with stress (which are less than exemplary) that bear a strong resemblance to those of you-know-who!

In the final analysis, I think it gets back to a previous point about hashgacha pratis--i.e., if I really felt that Hashem was directing all the affairs of my life, then I wouldn't get so angry, b/c getting angry is (usually) a response to a situation that doesn't go the way I want it to. But who am I? And why does the world have to be arranged according to my desires?! If I truly believed that "kol ma d'avad Rachmana l'tav avid (Everything Hashem does is for the best) then, takke, that also includes those times when things *don't* go my way. And moreover, on a deeper level that could b'dafka, be the reason why I (meaning my neshama) was put here in this green earth was to experience these sorts of frustrations and learn to overcome them (as a tikkun for my neshama).

3 Comments:

  • Essential oils, roots and herbs can be used in a variety of ways to promote healthy living and stress relief technique. They are used to create natural remedies for treating ailments common to both people and animals, to add flavor to food, to make perfumes and to create environmentally friendly cleaning products.

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    For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.

    A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.

    Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.

    So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?

    Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

    The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

    Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

    Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

    For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.

    The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

    Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

    Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.

    Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

    Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!

    stress relief technique

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:03 AM  

  • best regards, nice info » » »

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:42 PM  

  • Stress can be reduced with Yoga and breathing exercises. You can practice deep breathing whenever you feel uneasy.

    Take care!!

    This is Nancy from Israeli Uncensored News

    By Blogger Nancy, at 10:12 PM  

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